Hmm

Its starting to get dark again in here
At first there was nothing, just an eternity of abyss then came a light
Just a small light in the distance
As time went on more and more lights started to appear
But lately each light has started to flicker
One after another
They flicker then give in
Poof.
Darkness
Theres only one light left
Silently swinging from the rafters of this damp space
Its getting dark in here again
And as each light goes
Darkness takes its place
I think I need help
But its too dark to seek it

Awareness

Its funny, I know that no one else reads these posts or visits this blog but I don't know if I care all that much. I started this out of boredness; but I think its beginning to develop into something else. Maybe if something happens to me, if I'm forever damned maybe someone could find this blog, and it can be considered my contribution to the world; a DNA segment implanted in the genealogy of our planet.

Maybe this blog is all I can contribute to the world; I have so many aspirations and dreams but I'm too scared to go after them; I'm to scared to create, and in the words of one of my greatest inspirations "if you are too scared to begin creating things, then you are doomed to never create anything". I know that I should just go for it, the left part of my brain wants me to think logically; to get a practical career which is remotely related to the field that I am interested in, but my right brain and even my heart are against the idea; that part of me doesn't want this blog to be the only creative aspect displayed by me, I don't want it to be the only thing left of me but I think the more logical part of my brain is winning the fight. I don't believe in a God anymore, other religions have beautiful concepts of afterlives and reencarnations but if I don't believe then why should I get a second chance to alter any of my faults in my previous lives.

This is the only one I have, and I don't want to waste it.

The real question is, how do I start?

Conclusions...

I've come to the realisation that there is only one thing standing in the way of me living my dreams. And its me. I could sit here in front of my computer and come up with at least 30 other people I could temporarily blame but in the end its only me left. With graduation dawning over me I am left with many decisions that will shape my future. Do I go to university to study something purely because its considered practical and because it is remotely related to the field I'm actually interested in? Or do I take a year off, have a crappy part time job and just create. Creation is my primary objective, I love it so much so why am I stopping myself from doing the one thing I enjoy most in the world?

 

Humans are weird. I never used to think I was one until now.